Where do we go now?
by Blackcat509
Summary: Tag to Meridian. Accidentally deleted so re-submitted. Enjoy.


Okay, in my opinion this is how the team reacted to Daniels death. Set straight after the end of Meridian. Spoilers for Meridian.

The brilliant white light that had just minutes before been Dr. Daniel Jackson penetrated the ceiling above and was gone. No one questioned Jack on his order to stop, they just let it happen, knowing he knew something they didn't. Slowly the machines were turned off and one by one the room emptied.

She felt hollow, _Daniel was dead, or gone, hell, what is he now? _Sam walked back to her lab and sat down on the chair and stared at her desk. Papers, pencils, plans and god knows what else just strewn everywhere. Instinctively she reached out to where her coffee mug would be and went to take a drink from it. _Empty, just what I need. _Standing she went over to the corner of the room and pulled out the coffee jar. Placing her hand on the lid she noticed a sticky note stuck to the front. 'Sorry ran out in my lab, buy you some more after this mission. D.' It hit her all at once. Daniel was gone, he was gone and she would never see him again. The tears fell from her eyes like rivers and she collapsed to the floor, letting the silent sobs fill the empty space.

She'd lost a patient, nothing can fill the pain that she felt for losing a patient, _no not just a patient, Daniel, bright, cheerful, smiling Daniel. _Janet locked the door to her office and sat, the anger and grief welling up in her chest. Without thinking she grabbed the pen on her desk and sent it hurtling towards the door. She barley noticed the resounding clatter it made as it hit and the indentation left in the wood. She knew she shouldn't cry, but she threw professionalism out of the window and let her self go.

He stood there for a long time, just looking at the bed. Everyone had left, gone their own ways. _Daniel had left, gone his own way. One none of them could follow._ By the time it registered in Jack's brain that he was stood alone in empty room it was late. He set off walking, going nowhere, running through the last conversation he'd had with Daniel. _Daniel, Danny, Space-Monkey, how many other names have I called that archaeologist up to now. Wish I'd called him 'friend' more often._ When he finally came to a stop he was at Teal'c's quarters, poking his head around the door he saw he was in deep kel'no'reem and didn't even stir when he looked in. Jack wasn't sure if he knew he was there or just didn't want to be disturbed. Jack rocked back on his heels for a second and considered going talking to Hammond. He didn't want SG1 to be taken off active duty but figured that could be a conversation left until morning, after he had spoken to Teal'c and Carter. _Carter, Sam._ Without a second thought he set of towards her lab.

In Teal'c's mind Daniel had reached a higher plane of existence, something which all Jaffa aspired to reach. He left quickly after Daniel had disappeared, returning to his quarters. Lighting his candles he took a place at the base of his bed and closed his eyes. _I wish you well Daniel Jackson, may our paths cross again one day_. He said his silent prayer before entering kel'no'reem and letting his grief drag him deeper into the peaceful meditation.

His office door slammed with a shocking force, sending the frames on the walls to different angles and the books on the shelves out of their neat alignment. _Damn_. He hated losing one of his officers but this was different, it was SG1, his flagship team. The team that had defied the odds more times than he could count and now, after five years, they had come up short. _I can't even do a funeral, there's no body and hell, I don't even know if he's dead._ He sat and stared blankly at the paperwork he would have to fill in, he reached for his pen, but stopped. Standing and grabbing his jacket he left the base knowing the only thing that had a chance of calming him was seeing his granddaughters, even if they were asleep.

After getting no answer at Sam's lab Jack headed to the surface. The lift was empty, until it stopped at the infirmary and Janet stepped inside. He could see from the red streaks and the blotchy marks on her face she had been crying. _Of course she's been crying, Daniel touched all our hearts, how couldn't she. _Instinctively he reached out and pulled her into a hug. She didn't pull away, she didn't resist she let him hug her as the lift continued its ascent to the surface. When the embrace was over she looked up at him and said a silent thank you. They walked side by side towards the security check in to sign out. Jack was startled to hear Janet's voice break the silence.

"How's Sam and Teal'c?" Her voice was filled with sorrow and heart ache.

"T's in kel'no'reem and I think Carter's gone home, her labs locked up." He was surprised to hear is voice was barely above a whisper, but even more surprised by the young SF, who had clearly been eavesdropping, telling them that Major Carter was still on base. Looking at Janet he wasn't sure he was comfortable about letting her go home on her own but she spoke before he had time to voice his concern.

"Go find her Sir, she and Daniel were like brother and sister." This was true, from the first time Sam had met Daniel on Abydos, they had become instant friends, maybe because they were both scientists he wasn't sure, but that friendship had grown into a closeness only shared between siblings and he wasn't sure how.

"Janet are you sure, your gunna be okay getting home?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, I've got Cassie." He left without a second question, but mentally reminded himself to call Janet when he got home to make sure she was safe.

She didn't hear anyone knocking at her door. She was sat curled up on the floor of her lab, the tears had long since dried, leaving her with dry sobs escaping her chest. She didn't notice the Colonel come up to her and sit on the floor next to her until his arms were around her cradling her head against his chest. She didn't care any more, she clung to his shirt like a child and he held her for what seemed like hours.

He'd never seen her like this, yes he'd seen her cry, for her father on Netu, for Martouf when she'd shot him and he died in her arms and after she was taken over by Jolinar, but he'd never seen her like this. "Sam, come on, I'll drive you home." He knew she'd been crying, but the sobs that had been shaking her body had finally stopped and her breathing had returned to something like normal. He wrapped his arms protectively around her and lifted her to her feet. To his surprise, she was rock steady stood up and walked evenly, pulling her coat on and looking at him, as if waiting for her orders on their next move. "Come on," he placed his hand on her shoulder and he guided her to the lift and to the surface. She sat in the passenger side of his truck, silent, just watching everything around her, lost in thought. It was one of the things he loved most about her, the way she silently worked trough a problem, be it about astrophysics, the next Goa'uld threat to the planet or something deeply personal or emotional.

She was thankful for him coming and finding her, grateful that he hadn't just left, but she didn't think she could say it. She decided she would give it a shot anyway. Her voice came out as barely a whisper but it was understandable. "Thank you Jack."

"No problem Sam." He liked this, first name basis. Pulling up outside her apartment he got out and went round to the passenger side and opened the door for his 2IC. She looked pale but the red blotches had left her face and some of her natural pink had returned to her cheeks making him feel a little less worried. He made sure she got to her apartment and watched intently as she unlocked the door and went in. Pausing she turned to him, not wanting to be alone she invited him in. He wasn't taken back by the offer, if anything he was relived, he didn't want her to be alone at the minute and if he was honest with himself, he wanted company too, so he followed her into the apartment.

As Sam went and sat on the sofa, Jack headed to the fridge and pulled out two beers. _Nothing else seems appropriate_. He handed her the bottle and sat down next to her, she looked so small the way she was sat, her legs pulled close up to her chest with her chin on her knees. They sat in silence for over an hour, not moving. It was Jack who broke the silence.

"Sam, there's something I need to talk to you about." When she looked at him he continued. "Now just let me talk through this and you just sit and listen, 'cause if you interrupt then I don't think I will be able to say it again." By this time her eyes had widened and she had given him her full attention. "Losing Daniel tonight made me realise something." _You can do this, you can do this._ "People shouldn't wait to tell people how they feel about them, well I mean I could lose you on any mission, and I don't want that to happen, ever, but if it did then I would want you to know how I feel about you." Her eyes were even wider now and Jack wasn't sure if it was because she was understanding or if he was confusing her, he wasn't sure her brain was up to this tonight after everything that had happened, so decided to let it drop. "Never mind Sam, don't worry about it." He never expected her to pick up where he left off.

"Jack, I don't like thing going unsaid so I know what you mean." her voice was still quiet but stronger than before, which gave her courage to continue. "I love you Jack."

_She'd said it, she said it to me. _Jack couldn't believe what he was hearing, the whole point of his speech was to tell her that, but she'd said it _first_. He couldn't think of what to say, but instead reacted with actions instead of words. He kissed her.

Sam wasn't sure what was happening at first, she had been talking and then her world had begun to spin. Jack O'Neill had his lips pressed against hers and she was frozen. _What the hell are you doing Sam, kiss him back. _As the thought thundered through her mind Jack pulled away, his face expressing fears that he had done something wrong because she had frozen. "Don't." Her voice was almost non existent, but he seemed to understand. In a second he pulled her head closer to his and pressed his lips to hers, running his tongue across her lips.

"I'm sorry Sam." He uttered the words when he pulled away.

"Why?"

"I shouldn't have done that, it was wrong. I've crossed a line."

"We crossed a line." With that she covered his mouth with a kiss and let him deepen it, his tongue exploring her mouth. His hands slid under her top and began running over her skin while Sam dragged her fingers through his silver hair. Breaking away from the kiss Sam took Jack's hand and led him to her bedroom. Nothing was said, they just comfort in each others company, letting their true passion for each other be expressed in actions, not words.

When Sam awoke the next morning she was alone. The previous days events washed over her and sorrow and ecstasy flowed freely over her features. Dragging her self away from everything she quietly padded to the kitchen, her bare feet padding gently on the floor. Jack was there, wearing only his pants, rummaging though her cupboards looking for what she hopped was coffee. Turning around he saw her and looked surprised.

"When did you put those on?" He gestured the shorts and vest she wore to sleep in.

"About 4:00 am why?"

"Think I prefer you without them." A pure wicked smile appeared on his lips and Sam couldn't help but smile back as she handed him the jar of coffee she had found. "We need to talk."

"The regs."

"Yeah, if you want this can be something that is never spoken of and never happened and will never happen again."

"No, God no, Jack. I can go back now, this has happened and I don't want things to go back to how they used to be, never."

"In that case, screw the regs, and we'll give this a go. But, it stays between us, never mentioned to anyone until we work out what to do. We don't act any different at work or off world, nothing has changed there. We will work out a way to stay at the SGC and on SG1 together, I promise."

"I'll hold you to that." Once again she covered his mouth with a kiss, which he happily returned.

Everything was slightly different, his senses had changed, but as far as unlimited understanding went, there was still a way to go. He had spent the night checking in on his friends. Janet had gone home and spoken to Cassie, they had hugged and eventually Cassie had fallen asleep on Janet's knee. Teal'c's silent prayer had been received and somehow he knew it would come true. General Hammond had spent the night sat in a chair watching his granddaughters sleep, peacefully. He had been concerned about Sam, until he had steered Jack back to her lab. He was slightly worried he had got the SF in trouble, the poor guy hadn't been eavesdropping and he didn't really know why he said what he did, but it had happened. He came back to Sam's apartment the next morning and knew everything was going to be okay, the team would survive. _At least something good came from my death_, the thought ran through his mind as he left Sam Carter's kitchen to go and explore his new found plain of being.


End file.
